Over the next few posts, I'd like to spend some time talking about how to lead your kids to spiritual health. What is spiritual health, you might ask? Jesus defines spiritual health and the spiritually healthy person in Mark 12:30-31 when he says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your sould and with all your mind and with all your strength." And then he continues, "Love your neighbor as yourself." According to Jesus, living a life of spiritual health is living a life with a commitment to love...God first, and others second.
God has given you a great gift in your teenager. And he's called you to intentionally take the time to raise and nurture your kids in their relationships with God. Many who do this will see their kids grow into spiritual health and maturity. But I also know that we can't force our kids to love, honor and obey God. We can't carry them kicking and screaming into God's kingdom. They are human beings created by God with the ability to make their own choices. For many families, consistent spiritual nurturing doesn't bear fruit in the kids' lives until long after they've entered adulthood. But still, you've been given a specific amount of time to build these values into your children as best you can.
Do you want your teenagers to grow up to be strong in their faith and able to handle all that our world throws at them? Then the first thing to ask yourself is, "What kind of example am I giving them?" This is a question that has the potential to cut us to the core. But...how can we ask our kids to go where we have never been? Where you're at as a parent plays a more significant role in determining what your kids will become than any other factor. You've got to be where you want your kids to be because they'll follow your example.
In Deuteronomy 6, Moses shares God's plan for who should teach God's truths to succeeding generations and how they were to be taught: "These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them to your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." (Deut. 6:6-9)
Who should teach God's truths? Parents who have his commandments written on their hearts and gladly love God with their lives. God, in his perfect wisdom and plan, has chosen to do his work through the family. He uses the family as the primary arena for bringing people to himself. And how are parents to teach? With a diligent commitment to model wholehearted, single minded devotion to God. When God's truths become the central, overriding interest and purpose in our lives, teaching them to our kids will happen almost unconsciously.
So the first step in helping your teenager become a young man or woman after God's heart is to become one yourself. Search the Scriptures for His truth and then begin to live out His truth in your everyday. When your kids see you modeling God's love and truth, they will have a much easier time understanding it and making it a part of who they are.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Secret Life
This year ABC Family came out with a new show called "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." (You can check it out on www.abcfamily.com) It is kind of an over-exaggerated look at the lives of "typical" teenagers and all the messes they find themselves in. And although I did say it was over-exaggerated, I have been watching it and recognizing some of the stories of our own teenagers in the plot line.
The reality is that the world of a teenager is different than the real world that adults occupy
. The worlds obviously overlap to some extent, but as Chap Clark says in his book "Hurt", the teenage culture has created a 'world beneath' where they spend much of their time. This world has it's own language and it's own customs...and for the most part, adults are not welcome in this world. I am going to be sharing a lot about this world in posts to come...mainly because I want to help you to understand some of the actions and reactions your teenagers may be having. And I want to help you step in and interact with your teenagers in this world.
How many of us have ever felt like a teenager in our life is keeping a secret from us? I'm guessing that if you are the parent of a teenager, you feel this way on a weekly basis. They come home from school kind of bummed out and with as much compassion as you can muster you attempt to dig in and find out what is going on. The response? "Nothing", or "I'm fine", or they go in their room and shut the door, which is the universal teenage sign for "Leave me alone."
This is not abnormal. Because teenagers have created this "world beneath", they try to operate as much as possible in it because they understand it. So, when you duck your head in and try to figure out what is going on, they shut the door on you. Their next move is probably to pull out their phone or their computer to talk with friends about whatever happened that day.
Most teenagers are trying to figure out who they are and often times it feels a little suffocating to them to have mom or dad looking over their shoulder. This doesn't mean you don't try. This doesn't mean you leave them alone. It means that you've got to find strategic times to let them know that you are there for them and want nothing more than for them to share with you.
This could mean that you have regular mother/son or father/daughter dates. It could mean that you have mother/daughter time or father/son time every week where you do something creative together side by side. One of the keys to communicating with a teenager is not to put them into a situation where you are sitting across from the table with them and staring at them waiting for them to spill their guts. What seems to work best is side by side activities where they don't feel the pressure of an adult staring at them expecting something. But in the process of the side by side activity, often times teenagers will just open up and start talking because they feel comfortable and non-threatened.
It may take a dozen or more of these dates for them to really share something significant with you, but keep at it, because the result is well worth the time spent. And, in the process, you are able to build into them more than you will ever know. In the end, your influence in their lives is more important than any other influence they might have in this world. So, don't give up just because they push back and try to close you out. They need you...and if you were to ask them anonymously, most of them would say that it means a lot when you put yourself out there to love them.
The reality is that the world of a teenager is different than the real world that adults occupy
. The worlds obviously overlap to some extent, but as Chap Clark says in his book "Hurt", the teenage culture has created a 'world beneath' where they spend much of their time. This world has it's own language and it's own customs...and for the most part, adults are not welcome in this world. I am going to be sharing a lot about this world in posts to come...mainly because I want to help you to understand some of the actions and reactions your teenagers may be having. And I want to help you step in and interact with your teenagers in this world.How many of us have ever felt like a teenager in our life is keeping a secret from us? I'm guessing that if you are the parent of a teenager, you feel this way on a weekly basis. They come home from school kind of bummed out and with as much compassion as you can muster you attempt to dig in and find out what is going on. The response? "Nothing", or "I'm fine", or they go in their room and shut the door, which is the universal teenage sign for "Leave me alone."
This is not abnormal. Because teenagers have created this "world beneath", they try to operate as much as possible in it because they understand it. So, when you duck your head in and try to figure out what is going on, they shut the door on you. Their next move is probably to pull out their phone or their computer to talk with friends about whatever happened that day.
Most teenagers are trying to figure out who they are and often times it feels a little suffocating to them to have mom or dad looking over their shoulder. This doesn't mean you don't try. This doesn't mean you leave them alone. It means that you've got to find strategic times to let them know that you are there for them and want nothing more than for them to share with you.
This could mean that you have regular mother/son or father/daughter dates. It could mean that you have mother/daughter time or father/son time every week where you do something creative together side by side. One of the keys to communicating with a teenager is not to put them into a situation where you are sitting across from the table with them and staring at them waiting for them to spill their guts. What seems to work best is side by side activities where they don't feel the pressure of an adult staring at them expecting something. But in the process of the side by side activity, often times teenagers will just open up and start talking because they feel comfortable and non-threatened.
It may take a dozen or more of these dates for them to really share something significant with you, but keep at it, because the result is well worth the time spent. And, in the process, you are able to build into them more than you will ever know. In the end, your influence in their lives is more important than any other influence they might have in this world. So, don't give up just because they push back and try to close you out. They need you...and if you were to ask them anonymously, most of them would say that it means a lot when you put yourself out there to love them.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Experiment
Hi there! I want to introduce myself. My name is Amy Rudge and I am the high school pastor at Horizon Community Church in Cincinnati, OH. I've been working with high school students for over 10 years now in different capacities...8 of those as a youth pastor. I am extremely passionate about high school students knowing Jesus Christ and realizing the amazing plan He has for their lives.
My hope with this blog is that I can help you, the parents of teenagers, to connect and grow with your children. It can be tough parenting a teenager. They go through so many changes during their high school years and often times it's tough to connect with them. I'm hoping to be able to shed some light on different topics and give you ideas of how you can break through the walls and really walk alongside them during this time.
My expertise is not through the experience of parenting, but through the experience of walking with hundreds of high school students over the years...listening to their hearts...and helping them discover who they are in Christ. I don't claim to have all the answers, all I claim is to love teenagers and to try my best to help families connect with one another. I hope you find some of my experiences helpful as you navigate this time with your kids.
Thanks for checking in and please let me know if I can answer any questions for you.
His,
Amy
My hope with this blog is that I can help you, the parents of teenagers, to connect and grow with your children. It can be tough parenting a teenager. They go through so many changes during their high school years and often times it's tough to connect with them. I'm hoping to be able to shed some light on different topics and give you ideas of how you can break through the walls and really walk alongside them during this time.
My expertise is not through the experience of parenting, but through the experience of walking with hundreds of high school students over the years...listening to their hearts...and helping them discover who they are in Christ. I don't claim to have all the answers, all I claim is to love teenagers and to try my best to help families connect with one another. I hope you find some of my experiences helpful as you navigate this time with your kids.
Thanks for checking in and please let me know if I can answer any questions for you.
His,
Amy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
