Last week our ministry team took a trip down to Atlanta for the Orange Conference. You might be thinking to yourself, what is "orange"? Well, in all reality, it's a color mix between red and yellow! Yes, your 5 year old probably could have told you that. But why is "orange" relevant to children's and youth ministry? That's a little bit trickier to explain...but I'll try.
An interesting fact that is difficult for me to get my mind around is that as a youth minister I get about 40 hours with your kids...PER YEAR!! With some kids I might get a little bit more, and with some a little bit less, but on average, that is the small amount of time I have to influence your kids. You, on the other hand, get about a gazillion hours with your kids each year. Now if we each did our own thing in trying to help your kids become all that God wanted them to be...we would make some impact. But if we could partner together (yellow and red come together) in this thing, the impact would be multiplied. This is what thinking orange is all about.
It's about sharing our time and our resources so that in the end each of our students is well aware of how much God loves them and desires to be in relationship with them. It's about helping them understand that they are able to make a huge impact on this world and in God's kingdom. And it's about caring for our kids in a community of people...because as well all know, it takes a village to raise a child.
The question becomes...what can we accomplish together as we try to influence this next generation to stand up and make a difference in this world for Christ? I am open to suggestions...I am open to your thoughts...I am excited about the possibility...
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
My recent prayer
A few weeks ago I was sitting with my small group and we were talking about how difficult it is to live out our faith in this culture. What struck me was how nervous my girls were about what God may or may not be doing in them. They were focusing on the places they were failing to live up to God's standards and how often they were sucked into the world's way of doing things.
My first emotion was excitement. It was encouraging to see them making the distinction between God's way of doing things and the world's way of doing things. I was glad that they could see the difference and that they were recognizing the places in their lives where they were falling short.
Now, in teenage world, the difficult thing is that although they recognize there is a distinction between the two worlds, and they even notice the tension that exists, it doesn't mean that they are going to immediately make the changes they know they "should" make. It means that they will live within that contradiction for quite some time before they figure out that they must make a choice between the two worlds. That thought moved me from excitement to a bit of discouragement because I know that they will make many mistakes before they figure out the benefits and beauty of living in the truth of God's Word. I know many of you parents are in this discouragement stage. I know many of you feel this tension for them and feel like there is little that you can do about it.
But from discouragement my mood went straight to hope. I read this passage to the girls, and then have been praying on it ever since. Philippians 1:4-6 says...In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
I love the word "confident". I love that we can be confident of this in our own lives, but also in the lives of our teenagers. Yes, this stage is difficult...yes, it is frustrating...and yes, God will finish what he has started in the lives of our kids. And that is enough to give me tremendous hope. Today my prayer is for you, their parents, that you carry that hope with you as well!!
My first emotion was excitement. It was encouraging to see them making the distinction between God's way of doing things and the world's way of doing things. I was glad that they could see the difference and that they were recognizing the places in their lives where they were falling short.
Now, in teenage world, the difficult thing is that although they recognize there is a distinction between the two worlds, and they even notice the tension that exists, it doesn't mean that they are going to immediately make the changes they know they "should" make. It means that they will live within that contradiction for quite some time before they figure out that they must make a choice between the two worlds. That thought moved me from excitement to a bit of discouragement because I know that they will make many mistakes before they figure out the benefits and beauty of living in the truth of God's Word. I know many of you parents are in this discouragement stage. I know many of you feel this tension for them and feel like there is little that you can do about it.
But from discouragement my mood went straight to hope. I read this passage to the girls, and then have been praying on it ever since. Philippians 1:4-6 says...In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
I love the word "confident". I love that we can be confident of this in our own lives, but also in the lives of our teenagers. Yes, this stage is difficult...yes, it is frustrating...and yes, God will finish what he has started in the lives of our kids. And that is enough to give me tremendous hope. Today my prayer is for you, their parents, that you carry that hope with you as well!!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The Incredible Easter Story
The Easter story...we've all heard it a million times, right? Don't be so sure. I will never again just assume that becuase someone lives in America, or becuase someone has gone to church their whole lives that they know the story of Jesus' death and resurrection. And I will certianly not assume that they understand all that Jesus did for us through that death and resurrection. Especially not when working with teenagers.
Two quick stories. The first occurred two years ago. I was in a car with a student driving to a soccer game one Saturday afternoon. She was a student who had been around our ministry some, but had not really gotten involved in any of our small groups or discipleship ministry yet. She was a student who had not grown up around church, but surely she knew what Easter was about right? I mean, she had celebrated it every year growing up in an American family. So, I was shocked when I asked her what she thought it was all about and her response was a simple, "I don't know." Wow! Really? You don't know that Easter is about the death and resurrection of Jesus? I suppose I could have understood if she had no clue what that meant for her life...but to not know what it was even about? It threw me off my game a bit. The end of the story is that after that semi-awkward conversation two years ago, this student has accepted Jesus Christ as her savior and has grown a ton in her understanding of who Jesus is. This weekend will be her first Easter as a Christ-follower!!
Second story. I was with a group of teenagers a week ago and asked them if they knew what Palm Sunday was. The answers ranged from "it's about Jesus" to "something that has to do with palm trees." When I pressed them about the rest of the Easter story...they knew some of the basics, but they really didn't know too much about it.
Here's my point. Jesus is the most important figure in history. From a purely secular standpoint we can point to the fact that it is 2009. (If you didn't catch that, our whole dating system changed when Jesus died.) From a Christian standpoint, He is the one on whom our faith hinges. Without the death and resurrection of Jesus, we would have no chance to be with God for eternity. But more and more I notice that our students don't know the story of Easter. They should know the story of Easter.
In the Old Testament, God spoke continuously about the stories that we are to pass on from generation to generation...from a mother and father to their children. We need to be retelling the story. We need to help them to understand the story. We need to be the ones who don't shut up about the story, and how it has impacted our lives. It can make for some very interesting dinner time conversation...so go for it!!
Happy Easter everyone!!
Two quick stories. The first occurred two years ago. I was in a car with a student driving to a soccer game one Saturday afternoon. She was a student who had been around our ministry some, but had not really gotten involved in any of our small groups or discipleship ministry yet. She was a student who had not grown up around church, but surely she knew what Easter was about right? I mean, she had celebrated it every year growing up in an American family. So, I was shocked when I asked her what she thought it was all about and her response was a simple, "I don't know." Wow! Really? You don't know that Easter is about the death and resurrection of Jesus? I suppose I could have understood if she had no clue what that meant for her life...but to not know what it was even about? It threw me off my game a bit. The end of the story is that after that semi-awkward conversation two years ago, this student has accepted Jesus Christ as her savior and has grown a ton in her understanding of who Jesus is. This weekend will be her first Easter as a Christ-follower!!
Second story. I was with a group of teenagers a week ago and asked them if they knew what Palm Sunday was. The answers ranged from "it's about Jesus" to "something that has to do with palm trees." When I pressed them about the rest of the Easter story...they knew some of the basics, but they really didn't know too much about it.
Here's my point. Jesus is the most important figure in history. From a purely secular standpoint we can point to the fact that it is 2009. (If you didn't catch that, our whole dating system changed when Jesus died.) From a Christian standpoint, He is the one on whom our faith hinges. Without the death and resurrection of Jesus, we would have no chance to be with God for eternity. But more and more I notice that our students don't know the story of Easter. They should know the story of Easter.
In the Old Testament, God spoke continuously about the stories that we are to pass on from generation to generation...from a mother and father to their children. We need to be retelling the story. We need to help them to understand the story. We need to be the ones who don't shut up about the story, and how it has impacted our lives. It can make for some very interesting dinner time conversation...so go for it!!
Happy Easter everyone!!
Monday, March 23, 2009
An article from Lifeway Student Ministry...great stuff
Children are not born with instructions. Even if they were, I doubt that many parents would actually read the directions. Most parents, like me, learn from experience. The following four pointers are some principles I’ve used to reduce the parent/teen conflict in my own home and to increase my teen’s involvement in making responsible choices.
Realize Your Own Needs. Parents of teenagers are usually approaching an age of reflection, and this mid-life stage can be a time of personal crisis! Parenting a teen can add to the intensity, as you must face your own issues and those of a budding son or daughter. As a parent, you must come to terms with your own emotions and not transfer these to the challenges of parenting.
Respond Productively to Emotions. Teens are a bundle of emotions, but never discount the vital role of these emotions. Emotions are at the surface, but they offer parents an open line of communication with their teens. This time can assist you in better understanding your teen’s deeper feelings and thoughts.
Too often, parents discount how seriously their teens desire their opinions. Find out what your teen feels is the source of his emotions and talk about it. The source may be real or imagined, but it is serious to him. Choose one meal each day when the family can gather to talk. Use it to build a lasting family tradition.
Focus on Positive Behaviors. Conflicts and disagreements offer an opportunity for parents to help their teen talk through a time of difficulty. This can be a teachable moment for your teen, other siblings, and yourself. They will expect you to criticize what’s wrong, so asking questions and listening can catch a teen off-guard.
A turning point in my own life was when I knew my actions deserved punishment, but my dad responded calmly. We talked through my choices and the natural consequences that would result. This became a defining moment in my own life!
Develop a Plan of Action. Teens have adult bodies with a child’s experience. As a result, they may struggle with knowing how to act on their feelings. The following gives you a way for your teenager to be a partner in developing a plan that you both can agree upon.
Compromise can be a dirty word in theology, but it’s critical in relationships. Parents can move their children toward adulthood by allowing them to negotiate some house rules. This means teaching them to make appropriate choices and weighing rewards and punishments.
Within your expectations, consider what is negotiable: curfews, cell phones, car keys, and so forth. Encourage your teen to begin by praying and to list their wants. You must then explain what you expect. As you talk with your teen, offer possible alternatives and list the punishments for violating the rules.
Once an agreement is reached, put it in writing – signed and dated. This simple exercise can increase communication and reduce conflict.
The front porch may be gone, but the need to talk continues. Allow your experiences and an emphasis on consequences guide you as you guide your teen. Before you know it, you just might have a mature young adult on your hands.
Dr. Larry Purcell is a veteran pastor and counselor, specializing in crisis management and church leadership issues. In addition to being the senior pastor of Second Baptist Church, Hopkinsville, Ky., he also serves as the J.M. Frost associate professor of leadership at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky. This article first appeared in the September 2007 issue of Living with Teenagers.
Realize Your Own Needs. Parents of teenagers are usually approaching an age of reflection, and this mid-life stage can be a time of personal crisis! Parenting a teen can add to the intensity, as you must face your own issues and those of a budding son or daughter. As a parent, you must come to terms with your own emotions and not transfer these to the challenges of parenting.
Respond Productively to Emotions. Teens are a bundle of emotions, but never discount the vital role of these emotions. Emotions are at the surface, but they offer parents an open line of communication with their teens. This time can assist you in better understanding your teen’s deeper feelings and thoughts.
Too often, parents discount how seriously their teens desire their opinions. Find out what your teen feels is the source of his emotions and talk about it. The source may be real or imagined, but it is serious to him. Choose one meal each day when the family can gather to talk. Use it to build a lasting family tradition.
Focus on Positive Behaviors. Conflicts and disagreements offer an opportunity for parents to help their teen talk through a time of difficulty. This can be a teachable moment for your teen, other siblings, and yourself. They will expect you to criticize what’s wrong, so asking questions and listening can catch a teen off-guard.
A turning point in my own life was when I knew my actions deserved punishment, but my dad responded calmly. We talked through my choices and the natural consequences that would result. This became a defining moment in my own life!
Develop a Plan of Action. Teens have adult bodies with a child’s experience. As a result, they may struggle with knowing how to act on their feelings. The following gives you a way for your teenager to be a partner in developing a plan that you both can agree upon.
Compromise can be a dirty word in theology, but it’s critical in relationships. Parents can move their children toward adulthood by allowing them to negotiate some house rules. This means teaching them to make appropriate choices and weighing rewards and punishments.
Within your expectations, consider what is negotiable: curfews, cell phones, car keys, and so forth. Encourage your teen to begin by praying and to list their wants. You must then explain what you expect. As you talk with your teen, offer possible alternatives and list the punishments for violating the rules.
Once an agreement is reached, put it in writing – signed and dated. This simple exercise can increase communication and reduce conflict.
The front porch may be gone, but the need to talk continues. Allow your experiences and an emphasis on consequences guide you as you guide your teen. Before you know it, you just might have a mature young adult on your hands.
Dr. Larry Purcell is a veteran pastor and counselor, specializing in crisis management and church leadership issues. In addition to being the senior pastor of Second Baptist Church, Hopkinsville, Ky., he also serves as the J.M. Frost associate professor of leadership at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky. This article first appeared in the September 2007 issue of Living with Teenagers.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
great website
For those of you who have students who will be heading off to college in the next few years, I have a great web-resource for you to help open dialogue with them about real life issues that will face them when they make the move. Just go to www.liveabove.com and check out the different resources available. They have different pages, some for teens and some for parents, to help with the transition. There is also a video-conference you can purchase online with different speakers and topics that are relevant to this transition. Let me know what you think of it.
Friday, March 6, 2009
A new trend to be aware of
This past week two students from a local high school were arrested and questioned in regard to a trend called "sexting". This is a form of texting where students take nude pictures of themselves with their camera phones and then text them out to each other. As parents and mentors of students we really need to be aware of some of the things they are doing and be able to address our concerns about these things with our students. It is very difficult to even buy a phone today that doesn't have a camera on it, and most of our students thrive in communication with texting, but there are a few things parents can do to lessen the chance that their students are invoved in this new battle. First and foremost, talk to your kids about it. Let them know you are aware of what is going on and get their take on it. Open the lines of communication so they are not afraid to come to you if someone were to send them a picture like this. Also let them know your expectations about the types of messages they are sending over text. Having these conversations helps them to know that you are available and open to talking about it. Most teenagers won't want to have the conversation at first, but it is important that you push the issue...not from a "do this...don't do that" mentality, but from the perspective of helping them to see their self-worth and the dangers of getting involved in this type of activity.
As of yet, there are no laws to directly prosecute those who send pictures like this. However, the students who were arrested this week were charged with contributing to the delinquency of minors and the prosecutor is looking to head a charge to get some laws passed directly dealing with this type of behavior.
I also have attached a link to a story from the Today Show about a local teen who hung herself last year after being harassed by a group of students over some pictures she sent to her boyfriend that got out. This is a serious issue that we need to address with our teens!! Please let me know if you'd like more information about it.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29546030/
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A Few Questions To Ask
Like I said last week...in order to lead our teenagers to spiritual maturity, we've got to model this to them out of our own lives. I wanted to toss out a few questions you might be able to ask yourself about your own spiritual life in order to influcence your teenager.
* When my kids look at me, are they learning what it means to love God with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength?
* Do they see me trusting God for guidance and wisdom as I plan the future, run my business, manage my home, and so on?
* Do they see me turning to God when I'm anxious, troubled, or ill?
* Do they see me living out my commitment to Christ by spending time reading and studying the Bible?
* Do they know that prayer is an important part of my life?
* Are they see God as central to my thoughts and actions or just on Sunday morning?
* Do they see a faith that is integrated into every area of my life, including my relationships, my vocation, my spending decisions, my use of leisure time, how I play, and so on?
* Do they see me care for family, neighbors, friends, and the "lepers and outcasts" of the world?
We all have wishes, dreams, hopes and desires for what our kids will become. When you dream about your kids' spiritual futures, don't forget they're learning what place spirituality and faith should hold in their lives - from you.
Eugene Peterson describes it this way: "A parent's main job is not to be a parent, but to be a person. There are no techniques to master that will make a good parent. There is no book to read that will give the right answers. The parent's main task is to be vulnerable in a living demonstration that adulthood is full, alive, and Christian."
* When my kids look at me, are they learning what it means to love God with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength?
* Do they see me trusting God for guidance and wisdom as I plan the future, run my business, manage my home, and so on?
* Do they see me turning to God when I'm anxious, troubled, or ill?
* Do they see me living out my commitment to Christ by spending time reading and studying the Bible?
* Do they know that prayer is an important part of my life?
* Are they see God as central to my thoughts and actions or just on Sunday morning?
* Do they see a faith that is integrated into every area of my life, including my relationships, my vocation, my spending decisions, my use of leisure time, how I play, and so on?
* Do they see me care for family, neighbors, friends, and the "lepers and outcasts" of the world?
We all have wishes, dreams, hopes and desires for what our kids will become. When you dream about your kids' spiritual futures, don't forget they're learning what place spirituality and faith should hold in their lives - from you.
Eugene Peterson describes it this way: "A parent's main job is not to be a parent, but to be a person. There are no techniques to master that will make a good parent. There is no book to read that will give the right answers. The parent's main task is to be vulnerable in a living demonstration that adulthood is full, alive, and Christian."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
